Abortion Hurts Men
We live in a society that has succumbed to the idea that a man has no opinion regarding the fate of his preborn child.
How did we get here?
An American national healthcare provider, Carenet, recently conducted a study surrounding the role of the father in a pregnancy decision, ““In 2015, when we surveyed women who had an abortion, they indicated men were the most influential factor in their decision” (Roland Warren, president and CEO of Care Net). If this is the case, why are men staying silent about their true desires? Their parents, peers, and past relationships have continuously shut them down, citing the age-old phrase, “my body, my choice”.
Men are no longer fighting for their preborn baby because they do not believe they have the right. In reality, they do not have the tools.
Fatherhood is challenging at times. Anyone who tells you otherwise is a lying fool. However, fatherhood is also one of the most rewarding and honoring statuses to acquire in this world. It is not a wonder that out of 1,000 men recently told their partner was pregnant, 53% described their primary emotion as “nervous”. Only 30% replied, “happy.” There are many reasons why a new father would be faced with these emotions, but the proven top 2 remain- “We can’t afford this child” and “I am not ready to be a father.” Men are in desperate need of emotional help and physical resources to feel prepared to bring a child into the world.
There are many internal forces at play. Unsurprisingly, these are accompanied by some pretty powerful opinions. A significant percentage of men would choose life for their child, regardless of fear, financial and relational stress, etc… but feel that the decision rests solely upon the shoulders of the mother. The aforementioned study finds this number to be around 63% - a shocking number considering the current abortion rates in the U.S.
Additionally, only 15% of men indicated that they were indifferent regarding the decision of their partner, a much lower number than those who claim that, “I will support her decision either way” (Carenet, Lifeway Research).
The role of a man in his child’s life is indispensable from their conception to his death, and even beyond. Children who live in homes without the influence of a father or father figure are twice as likely to die before their 1st birthday and have a 77% higher chance of being physically abused. 78% of incarcerated men did not grow up with a father in the home (Alex from conference, need proper citation).
Are you as startled by these numbers as I am?
How can we brush off the importance of a man’s influence in the life of his child? Shouldn’t this ideology supersede the uterine wall?
As previously mentioned, men are ill-equipped to face the harsh realities of an unplanned pregnancy in this climate. They are fired at from every side and scared into silence without having the chance to consider fatherhood. They feel powerless to protect their child, a primal duty and an ultimate failure, and that sense of failure can follow him for his entire life if he does not seek healing. Pregnancy centers are moving in his direction, while continuing to help her grow and heal in her unplanned journey. The fathers have been forgotten, but we see you. We want you to develop a healthy bond with your child and empower other men to fight for their child’s life from every angle as well. Be open and honest with your partner about how you feel during this process, and be open to her wants and needs as well.
We offer fatherhood classes to learn how to grow in your role, and parenting classes for partners to learn how to work as a unit to raise their child. We also offer post-abortion counseling for men and women alike. If you are able, please, accompany your partner to her appointments and support her on the journey of pregnancy and parenthood.
Cited and Referenced Sources
Net, Care. “Care Net Study of Men and Abortion.” Pregnancy Centers, www.care-net.org/mens-survey. Accessed 29 June 2023.
Earls, Aaron. “Men Play Significant Role in Decisions Surrounding Unplanned
Pregnancies.” Lifeway Research, 27 Apr. 2023, www.research.lifeway.com/2022/01/21/men-play-significant-role-in-decisions-surrounding-unplanned-pregnancies/.