Women deserve to be respected, to be loved, to be cherished. They have the right to expect commitment from their partner. However, so many women have given up these standards within hookup culture under the guise of “female empowerment”.
There is a new one-night-standard. Young women and men are being pressured to seek out relationships based solely on sex, trivializing the act in a way that is unprecedented.
Apps such as Tinder and Grindr have become leading platforms for hookups among young singles. The sites boast over 100 million users collectively and are showing no signs of slowing down. If these staggering numbers prove anything, it’s that hookup culture has become a cultural norm.
Are we dismissing blatant truths here, both biologically and psychologically?
Dr. Joe Malone, popularly known as a “Sexual Integrity Scientist” has spent a large portion of his career in neuropsychology with a specialization in women’s health and sexual wellness. His studies have shocked believers in hookup culture. However, they have instinctively known his findings all along.
Men and women are vastly different in terms of biochemistry and drive. Hookup culture is much more “practical” for men than it is for women as their desire for companionship is much lower. However, this is not to say it does not exist.
It is easier for men to engage in a hookup without strong emotional ties to their sexual partner. Women, on the other hand, are wired to long for commitment from a sexual partner. There is an active suppression that must take place for her throughout the hookup process. Society tells her that she is taking control of her body, her needs, and her wants. Science tells us this is not really the case.
If women don’t really want to hookup, why are they consistently engaging in it?
They’re being told by peers, parents, teachers, media, and our culture as a whole that they are weak for wanting commitment. “You are a strong independent woman.” “You don’t need a man.” “F*** men.” These, and similar phrases, are consistently being forced down the throats of vulnerable women who really do want to be in a loving, nurturing relationship.
Men have bought into the lie as well, believing that they aren’t causing any harm to their partners. They think, “It’s her choice” and “We are just having fun.”
The discrepancy here is that men go through a much lengthier bonding process than women.
In order for men to form a strong enough bond to feel responsible for, protective of, and committed to a woman, they must go through a significant amount of time courting her with the exception of sexual relations. The longer such a relationship progresses, the more testosterone decreases and is replaced with a bonding chemical known as oxytocin. The male sexual drive is fueled by testosterone, and when sex is introduced into a relationship too quickly, the natural bonding process is stunted, and oxytocin is not allowed to multiply within the brain.
Women are biologically wired to desire the exact traits that are stripped from this relationship. The man is not expected to nurture or care for the woman in any way. She is not the object of his affection, but of his satisfaction. In fact, the value of a woman in a man’s eyes is dependent upon her willingness to have casual sex with him- certainly not an empowering status.
Hookup culture hurts women physically to an equal, if not greater extent. Women who live a promiscuous lifestyle in their youth are much more likely to develop cervical and vaginal cancer,
among a slew of other terminal illnesses.
In 2020, breast cancer surpassed lung cancer as the #1 cancer diagnosis in the United States. Additionally, it is 100x more prevalent among us than our ancestors. 99% of these diagnoses are women. The increase in casual sex in relation to this uptick in breast cancer diagnoses cannot be ignored, and is closely related to the increasing age of first-time mothers. Women who give birth to their first child near age 20 have half the risk for breast cancer than those closer to age 30. The women practicing “safe sex” to avoid young pregnancies are really not protecting themselves at all.
Even more prevalent is the increase in STDs among our youth. “Less than 20 years ago, gonorrhea rates in the U.S. were at historic lows, syphilis was close to elimination, and advances in chlamydia diagnostics made it easier to detect infections,’ said Raul Romaguera, DMD, MPH, acting director for CDC’s Division of STD Prevention. ‘That progress has since unraveled” (Reported STDs). Hookup culture is giving STDs free reign among once healthy young men and women in our communities.
Women, you do not have to give into the pressures of hookup culture. You are not weak for wanting a lifetime companion- someone who will love and cherish you through thick and thin. And guess what, you’re not wrong for wanting sex! It is a natural drive in both men and women. The right man will respect and share your desire to strive for sexual purity to fully enjoy this gift.
Cited and Referenced Sources
Deffenbaugh, Rachel. “Recorded Conversation: Women’s Sexual Wellness.” Protean, 9 June 2023,
www.heartbeatservices.org/recorded-conversation-women-s-sexual-wellness.
“Reported Stds Reach All-Time High for 6th Consecutive Year.” Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 13 Apr. 2021,
www.cdc.gov/media/releases/2021/p0413-stds.html.
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